How To Make A Strong First Impression: Seven Tips That Really Work
We have all heard this warning: You never get a second chance to make a good first impression. Also, human behavior specialists caution that we only have from seven to seventeen seconds of interacting with strangers before they form an opinion of us.
With this widely acknowledged pressure to make our case instantly, here are my seven tips for making your first impression strongly positive.
ONE: The greatest way to make a positive first impression is to demonstrate immediately that the other person--not you--is the center of action and conversation.
Illustrate that the spotlight is on you only, and you*ll miss opportunities for friendships, jobs, promotions, love relationships, networking, and sales. Show that you are other-centered, and first-time acquaintances will be eager to see you again.
Recently I attended a conference. At lunch, my wife and I sat with several people we didn*t know. While most of our tablemates made good impressions, one man emerged as the person we*d be sure to avoid all weekend. He talked about himself, non-stop. Only rarely did anyone else get a chance to speak. Unfortunately, he probably thought he was captivating us with his life story.
I applaud this definition of a bore: Somebody who talks about himself so much that you don*t get to talk about yourself.
TWO: You*ll make a superb initial impression when you demonstrate good listening skills. Give positive verbal cues:
Hmmm. . .interesting! Tell me more, please. What did you do next?
Just as actors benefit from prompts, your conversational partner will welcome your assistance in keeping the exchange going.
Nonverbally, you show you*re a skilled listener by maintaining steady eye contact. Remember how you respond to the social gadabout who appears to be looking over your shoulder for the next person he or she wants to corner. Remember, and offer full attention to everyone you meet.
THREE: Use the name of a new acquaintance frequently. Example: Judy, I like that suggestion. Or: Your vacation must have been exciting, Fred. You show that you have paid attention from the start, catching the name during the introduction. Equally as important, you*ll make conversations more personal by including the listener*s name several times.
FOUR: Be careful with humor.
Although a quip or two might serve as an icebreaker, stay away from sarcastic remarks that could backfire. Because you don*t know a stranger*s sensitivities, prolonged joking might establish barriers you can*t overcome, either now or later.
FIVE: Give up the need to be right.
This was Dr. Wayne Dyer*s advice in his wonderful book, Real Magic. Confrontations with somebody you*ve just met will destroy rapport before you even start building it. Wait until you have established credibility before you challenge another*s statements.
SIX: Appearance counts.
Several years ago, a professional colleague offered to meet me for lunch. I decided against wearing a suit, opting for a sport coat and tie. When he showed up in shorts and sandals, the message he conveyed was: Bill, meeting you is a rather ordinary experience, and doesn*t call for me to present a business-like appearance. Not surprisingly, that was the last time I met with him.
True, standards for appropriate attire have changed drastically. Maybe the best advice I can share came from a participant in a communication seminar I conducted. She said: I don*t dress for the job I have now, I dress for the job I want to have.
SEVEN: Speak clearly, confidently, and convincingly.
As a communication specialist, I have to point out that an individual*s speaking style impacts the first impression, maybe more than we wish. Listeners judge our intelligence, our cultural level, our education, even our leadership ability by the words we select--and by how we say them.
Think of Professor Henry Higgins of My Fair Lady, who changed a so-called guttersnipe into a lady, by teaching her to speak skillfully. While none of us occupies the lowly level of Eliza Doolittle, we can keep her example in mind. Rather than mumble, speak so you*re easily heard. Enunciate clearly. Alter your pitch, to avoid the dullness of a monotone. Display animation in both voice and facial expression. Gesture naturally, without canning your movements.
Keep these seven tips in mind. They will reduce your fear of business and social encounters with unfamiliar faces. More positively, you*ll start enjoying poise and success that you thought were beyond your reach.
About The Author
Bill Lampton, Ph.D., wrote The Complete Communicator: Change Your Communication, Change Your Life! As a business consultant, speaker and coach, he helps organizations improve their communication, motivation, customer service and sales.
His Web site: http://www.ChampionshipCommunication.com
E-mail: mailto:drbill@ChampionshipCommunication.com
Latest News
Hormones: Learning the rules of attraction Independent, UK - What really draws couples together? The mysteries of hormones are only now being unravelled – and giving us fascinating new insights into why we behave the ... |
PIRATE: A magnetic attraction to North Carolina's beaches? StarNewsOnline.com, NC - Researchers at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill believe sea turtles use the Earth's magnetic field to find their way back to their birthplace to ... |
 TheImproper.com | 'Twilight' stokes our immortal attraction to the vampire New York Daily News, NY - In this image released by Summit Entertainment, Kristen Stewart, left, and Robert Pattinson are shown in a scene from, "Twilight." 'Mad, bad, and dangerous ... Life and love eternal E-mail this page Movie Review - "Twilight" sizzles but squanders dark romance |
Sunoco becomes local attraction with sign, car North Fort Myers Neighbor, FL - By ANDREA GALABINSKI, nfmneighbor@breezenewspapers.com The Sunoco Gas Station at 14531 N. Cleveland Avenue has become a local attraction of sorts. ... |
 UK Parents Lounge | New Forest Lapland attraction a dismal failure UK Parents Lounge, UK - Instead of paying high-cost flights to the real Lapland, families could travel to the New Forest to see a similar attraction. With tickets costing £25, ... Santa punched and elves under fire at Lapland attraction Picture diary by mum at Lapland row attraction Theme park branded 'winter blunderland' |
The rules of attraction Independent Online, South Africa - By Roger Dobson A woman's smile may not be all it seems. When her zygomaticus major cheek muscle moves the upper lip upward and outward to produce that warm ... |
Craigie’s now a Main attraction: Harvard Square restaurant moves ... Cambridge Chronicle, MA - By Travis Andersen/Correspondent As word spread that the restaurant offered some of the best French cuisine and ambiance in Cambridge, owner and proprietor ... |
 guardian.co.uk | A cosmopolitan attraction Culpeper Star Exponent, VA - Have you seen the new movie now playing in theaters starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman, called “Australia”? The movie is receiving great reviews and ... Crikey! 'Australia' Hits the Big Screen VIDEO: “Australia” Review 'Australia' -- a review |
My fear and fragility: history of gay attraction AfterEllen.com - I'm not sure who I should address this to, or even how to write this. I know that you don't know me, and you've got no reason to give up your time to read ... |
Ground Zero: Now a major attraction for Mumbaikars Sakaal Times, India - PTI MUMBAI: Standing shattered behind the Gateway of India with soot marred walls, bullet riddled doors, broken window panes and splinter marks, ... |
Resources
-
WomenFiguredOut.com How To Be The Jerk Women Love by F.J. Shark
eBook that teaches men the sexual triggers and attraction secrets of Jerks w/out being a Jerk.
-
Mental Power Strategies
Master Secrets of Hypnosis, Chi Power ,Meditation, attraction, & Stock Markets.
-
COVERTPOWER.COM - Your source for Seduction, Influence, personal power and money attraction informat
COVERTPOWER.COM - Your source for Seduction, Influence, personal power and money attraction information!
-
Free report reveals how sexy women will approach you first for a date, no matter your looks, age or
attraction, dating and seduction secrets revealed. This remarkable website teaches men how to get desirable, sexy women to approach them first. Discover little known dating, seduction and pick up secrets from John Alanis, the King of Let
-
Natural attraction & Success with Women: 'Men's Guide to Women'
Learn how to be successful with women. Understand how to get women, be a player, and attract women.
-
Being a Player, Dating, attraction, Seduction And Sex Tips for Men
The Most Amazing Secrets to Get Any Woman That You Want, learn what women want, flirting, love advice, pick up lines, dating tips, speed dating, get a girlfriend, and pick up women
-
The Law of attraction (sm) where you manifest & attract abundance, success & wealth!
When you learn from The Law of attraction, you can craft and create the life you want!