Sex in a Cessna, Part I
If you have never had sex in a Cessna or other small aircraft then you probably might wish to read this article. It is fun, exhilarating and can get a little tricky if you do not do it correctly. Yes, in fact there is a right way and a wrong way to have sex in a Cessna. The reason I chose Cessna for this article is not because it is the only aircraft I have done it in; but because it is the most popular light aircraft. If you are two guys reading this article, I do not have any pointers for you, as I am into only the heterosexual endeavors in that regard.
First you will need to find a practice area in your region and you will of course as the saying goes be at least a mile up; for proper mile-club initiation. Also make sure on the sectional chart that there are no nearby VORs or common flight paths. One of you will need to be glancing out the windscreen from time to time to look for traffic. Remember something the size of a bug coming at you at 300 knots; closing speed, will get pretty big pretty fast and they might not see you.
Once you are in position, not sexual position; first we need to get the aircraft trimmed up in stable flight. If you are in an aircraft with auto-pilot and not very bumpy air you will enjoy the experience much more. If you have 3-axis autopilot sex in a Cessna can me a lot of fun and you will most likely wish to do it often. If you have only a 2-axis auto pilot there will be times when you will want to adjust the controls from time to time. It is okay if you are a little nervous the first time, this is a good thing and keeps you on your toes. This promotes safety and of course added excitement for the sexual encounter.
Once you have the aircraft in level flight and trimmed up and/or auto pilot set. Slide the seat all the way back and lock it into position. Next remove your pants, both of you. Take them all the way off; do not, I repeat do not put them only down to your ankles. If you get into turbulence you will need to be able to put your feet back on the rudder pedals and if they are bound up with your pants around your ankles this will cause a problem. Trust me on this point please; yes it was exciting, but I will never do it that way again. Think about this a second.
End of Part I.
"Lance Winslow" - If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs
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