COMING SOON??Online Attractions

In my attempts to find the love of my life, I knew that they were not going to be found in the town where I lived, so I took to the Internet. My first experience was the result of a television commercial. They looked so darn happy, you couldn't help but wonder if this could also work for you, so I tried it. Put it this way, finding my "Mr. Right" may have ended up costing me a small fortune!

Then one day I was working on my computer and along came an annoying pop-up. Normally, I delete them as fast as they pop-up, but this one caught my eye. It was for another dating site. Once inside the site, I was amazed at all of the handsome black men and a few white ones too, who were looking for the perfect black woman.

Because of how I am, my desire for monogamy, this is who I was looking for, someone who had the same desire as me. What I quickly found out, on my first night on the site is that most men don't even bother to read your profile they just look at your picture and click! Thanks for the compliment, I think? However, when a man takes the time to read your profile, he is going a little deeper than just the physical attraction and actually learns a little about you before sending you a message.

At that time my profile was a little friendlier, more inviting. What I found was that I spent more time eliminating those who did not fit the bill until I thought I had found the one. However I have a hard time giving all of my attention and affection to someone who is not returning the favor. And because of who I am, it is not in my nature to be intimate with more than one person at a time. To me, intimacy definitely includes more than just sex. It involves allowing a person to really get to know who you are, what your likes and dislikes are, what your loves and fears are, trusting to the point of vulnerability. So because I was not getting what I needed in return for what I was giving, I said audios!

I decided to give this site another go. This time I spelled out exactly what I expected, in my profile. It was probably more intimidating to some. I think that they could tell that I was very serious about what I was saying and if they are all about the game, they don't even bother to click. That's good! As I say, that way I don't have to bother cutting away the fat to get to the meat. Or as one gentleman said, "the apples at the top of the tree are more appealing but the ones on the ground are easier to get." I am still the same person, but this time I am realizing that it's really all about the game. The object of the game is to talk with whomever you want, as many as you want, as much as you want, as intimately as you want, all at the same time, and finally, if you choose to do so, you can select the one who has won you over from all of your many admirers. However, don't forget that while you are being pursued by him, he is being pursued by others and he is also pursuing others at the same time he is pursuing you. It's like one big orgy!

For this very reason, I don't think that online dating is right for me. But let's turn that around. Online dating is what you make it. You can play by your own rules. As for me, I really don't care what the others do; I will stick to my molasses method of one person at a time. The problem is finding that one who would be willing to give up the buffet to see what the steak taste like. I'm sure that it will take me longer this way to find the one who is right for me, but after all when I do, it will have been well worth the time-for both of us!

Victoria Leal is the President and CEO of MarriageSecretsRevealed.com. To find helpful information on how to have a happy marriage or what to expect before you get married, please visit: http://www.marriagesecretsrevealed.com

This article is copyright © 2005 by Victoria Leal and may be reprinted in it's entirety as long as this byline and copyright statement are included.

Latest News


E! Online

Lawyers: Hudson in-law angered by wife's dating
The Associated Press - Dec 3, 2008
CHICAGO (AP) — Prosecutors allege Jennifer Hudson's estranged brother-in-law killed three family members because he was angry the singer's sister was dating ...
Video: Prosecutor: Jealousy Drove Hudson Family Killer AssociatedPress
Hudson Murder Suspect Angry Over Wife's Dating Mom Logic
'Jealousy inspired Hudson murders' The Press Association
ABC News - MTV.com
all 2,363 news articles

Contactmusic.com

Westwick and Szohr Dating?
San Francisco Chronicle,  USA - 20 hours ago
There's a new couple on the set of "Gossip Girl" -- Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr are reportedly dating. Westwick was rumored to be involved with actress ...
Gossip Girl stars smootch at airport phillyBurbs.com
New couple on the Gossip Girl set? Canada.com
all 14 news articles

Amanda Bynes & Hills Player Doug Reinhardt Dating
E! Online - 42 minutes ago
But it seems we had her all wrong, because she is apparently dating the dude who was too boring for even Lauren Conrad: Doug Reinhardt. ...

Kirsten Dunst dating filmmaker Jacob Soboroff
Oneindia, India - 7 hours ago
Washington (ANI): Hollywood actress Kirsten Dunst has bid her single status goodbye, for she's dating filmmaker Jacob Soboroff, according to reports. ...
Kirsten Dunst snags activist/director Jacob Soboroff? Los Angeles Times
DUNST FINDS LOVE AGAIN PR-Inside.com (Pressemitteilung)
Kirsten Dunst & Jacob Soboroff: New Couple! Just Jared
Hollyscoop
all 17 news articles

What's hot on TheCalifornian.com: Salinas-area dating help just a ...
The Salinas Californian, CA - 6 hours ago
Find it on TheCalifornian.com's top navigation bar under Entertainment, Dating. Questions? Contact Digital Editor Ria Megnin at rmegnin@thecalifornian. com ...
Local News & Events The Salinas Californian
all 3 news articles

SanFranciscoSentinel.com

Recession dating, as much art as science, but its official, the US ...
Examiner.com - Dec 3, 2008
But the nonprofit NBER has been dating recessions since 1929, and has generally become accepted as “officially certifying that a recession has begun. ...
Video: Money Minute: Recession, Paulson, Oil AssociatedPress
Recession Dating: When in Doubt, Wait for a Crisis Wall Street Journal Blogs
Recession Dating: Some People Are Going to Be Surprised RGE Monitor
MarketWatch - Washington Post
all 1,615 news articles

The Halley's Comet of Dating
Atlanta Journal Constitution,  USA - 6 hours ago
It’s like the Halley’s Comet of dating. You don’t know when it will happen, it’s hard to predict if you will even live along enough to experience it. ...

SNAP Interactive Expects Fourth Quarter Revenue to Exceed $900000
MarketWatch - Dec 3, 2008
Incorporated in Delaware and headquartered in New York, SNAP Interactive, Inc. is a leading provider of online dating applications for social networking ...

Parents of Murdered Dating Violence Victim, Legislators, and ...
MarketWatch - Dec 2, 2008
NEW YORK, Dec 02, 2008 /PRNewswire-USNewswire via COMTEX/ -- Today, advocates for teen dating violence education from across the country are coming together ...
Talking About Teen Dating Abuse New York Times
Parents of Murdered Dating Violence Victim, Legislators, and ... International Business Times
Ending teens' 'silent threat' Portsmouth Herald News
all 10 news articles

Telegraph.co.uk

Jurassic tree dating back 200 million years is back for Christmas
Telegraph.co.uk, United Kingdom - 1 hour ago
Families wanting an old-fashioned Christmas can now decorate their home with the world's oldest species of tree - dating back 200 million years. ...

Resources