Seven Strategies You Need to Know About Strengthening Your Self-Esteem

Did you know that your life's success in all areas is directly related to having a healthy self-esteem? You've heard the cliché "You are what you eat." Many would also argue that "You are what you think."

Nathaniel Brandon, one of the most notable psychologists on self-esteem put it nicely: "There is no value-judgment more important to man-no factor more decisive in his psychological development & motivation than the estimate he passes on himself."

It is the secret or "hidden self-esteem" in particular, that will get you through those very dark spots. It will enable you to find a valuable lesson each time you face an obstacle.

The hidden or secret self-esteem is how you feel about yourself deep down. It is the most accurate description of how you feel, regardless of what obstacles are thrown in your path.

If it's strong, then you will be able to deal better with stress and your relationships. You'll be successful by your own standards and have no need to boast about it. Your surface self- esteem, however, can vary widely depending on the day of the week. It's a temporary feeling.

Environmental factors can play a role in how you view yourself.

It most certainly did for me. For example (the very short version), I felt essentially fatherless. I got called weird a lot growing up (and fat, too!).

Artists, musicians, and the mathematically inclined tend to be labeled as eccentric. I am all three! Teenagers generally ridiculed eccentricity in my environment back then.

Honestly, I don't believe my secret nor surface self-esteem was as healthy as it could be in all areas until I was finished with school-Graduate School!

So how did I get from there to here?

Let's look at some strategies that I used and see if any or all them can get you on the road to developing or strengthening your self-esteem. Here are seven of them:

1. Clear out the junk: This means anything hurtful and unconstructive that you've been told by someone you care(d) about (or even some you didn't) is to be taken with a grain of salt. It's one thing to be given constructive criticism in life, but quite another when people are downright mean about it. Remember it's the offending party's issue. NOT yours.

2. Related to #1: List first why you believe the negativity you tell yourself (i.e., I'm too old. I'm too fat. Nobody loves me. I'm never good enough. etc.); laugh at that piece of paper you just wrote on; THEN tear it up and move on to the next strategy.

3. You may have heard the phrase "Attitude of gratitude." Count your blessings, which can include things people actually take for granted, such as food and shelter, access to a computer, etc.

4. List your positive attributes and talents-everybody has them! List at least five.

5. Make a list of what you love to do, starting from childhood until now and try to find time to do it at least once a week, even if it's just for a few minutes.

6. List at least three things that you would love to have the courage to do.

7. Surround yourself with positive people (think of volunteer or professional organizations that have something in common with your interests, for example).

If none of these strategies work over time, other factors may be at play that are beyond the scope of this article.

Consistently employing these strategies will make it easier to keep going even when the going gets tough. Especially when the going gets tough! Whenever you are feeling low, you don't have to try and deny it. But do know that it will pass. Knowing that it will pass will help you psychologically.

If you're interested in seeing where you fall in terms of your self-esteem, here is a site that I found very useful: http://www.wellnessnet.com/testesarticle.htm. It also goes into the hidden and surface self esteem concept in more depth.

Self-esteem is but one personal resource worth managing. It's important to be kind to yourself and have patience. Remember, your best investment is in yourself!

Power-Ed Solutions, Inc. Copyright © 2004 All Rights Reserved

About The Author

Carol Dickson-Carr a life strategist and social scientist who has researched the human condition for over 13 years. She is also founder of Power-Ed Solutions, Inc., a Leadership Development Company

http://managingpersonalresources.com

http://www.power-edsolutionsinc.com

cdickson@power-edsolutionsinc.com

Latest News


guardian.co.uk
Twitter hacker says admin password was 'happiness'
Los Angeles Times, CA - 6 hours ago
Happiness. The hack victim, a Twitter staffer who goes by the name Crystal on the social network, used that nine-letter word as the password for her account ...
Twitter Hacker Says Admin Password Was 'Happiness' Wired News
Simple, brute-force dictionary attack was used on Twitter Neoseeker
Password guessing attack exposed in Twitter pwn Register
WebProNews - The Tech Herald
all 22 news articles

Ten Ways To Be Happier Now
Forbes, NY - 7 hours ago
It might seem that happiness is in short supply these days. Still-slumping housing prices, bleak consumer spending, high unemployment and a recession are ...

RTE.ie
Twitter 'happiness' hack exposed Britney
Metro, UK - 18 hours ago
... but then discovered she was a staff member called Crystal with access to all profiles and passwords. Her simple password, Happiness, was easy to crack.
Twitter insecurity Seattle Post Intelligencer
all 393 news articles

Get High on Happiness:
Jewishinstlouis.org, MO - 1 hour ago
By Max Weiman According to the Book of Creation, (an ancient kabbalistic book written by the patriarch, Abraham) every month has a Hebrew letter associated ...

24dash
Ofsted rates children's happiness
The Press Association - 13 hours ago
The data gives each local authority a score on five different measures - the emotional health of children (happiness), bullying, participation in "positive" ...
Inner London teenagers least likely to take drugs guardian.co.uk
Half of all pupils are bully victims The Sun
More friends and emotional security - how northern children top ... guardian.co.uk
all 6 news articles

It's Never Too Late: Happiness Now!
Examiner.com - 20 hours ago
OK So sometime in December I was minding my own business and I get this email that I missed because I was very busy minding my own business but actually the ...

Bihar government jobs bringing happiness but with pain
Indian Muslims, CA - 16 hours ago
By Abdul Wahid Azad, During the last few years some positive changes took place in the Indian province of Bihar which was earlier dubbed as BIMARU state of ...

It's Nothing but Happiness For Kate and Len
PopSugar.com, CA - Jan 6, 2009
Kate Beckinsale and Len Wiseman traveled with Lily from London to LA over the weekend and then hit the streets for some grocery shopping yesterday. ...

Happiness in hockey
Morgan Hill Times, CA - Jan 5, 2009
At the Sharks Ice in San Jose, a hodgepodge group of men sporting full hockey pads, carrying sticks and wearing face masks emerges from the rink-side locker ...

Happiness is ...
Enid News & Eagle, OK - Jan 6, 2009
Ask each one their definition of happiness and you would likely get 6.7 billion different answers. Some people say being rich would make them happy, ...

Resources