Holiday Tips For Stepfamilies

Holiday Tips For Stepfamilies: Let Go Of The "Brady Bunch" Fantasy!

When my co-author--Bill Merkel Ph.D.--and I first formed our stepfamily, I had many fantasies about how our family would behave like the "Brady Bunch" over the holidays-- a happy, harmonious, singing-and-dancing unit. Then reality struck, and we couldn't even agree on how to decorate the Christmas tree!

Ultimately, we created a "his" side-with multi-colored, blinking lights and tinsel--and a "hers" side-with hand-painted eggs and popcorn strings. Seven years later, I can tell you that trying to create a "Brady Bunch" holiday sets stepfamilies up for failure. Instead, I suggest you follow these tips:

1. Examine and try to let go of your "Brady Bunch" fantasies.

2. Continue "old" holiday traditions with your biological kids while creating new ones for the stepfamily.

3. If the kids don't buy into your fantasy holiday, try to see

the world from their point of view.

4. Practice the fine art of silence when your stepfamily is stressed by the holidays. You don't have to share all your negative feelings.

5. Don't compete with your children's "other" parents by showering kids with expensive gifts.

6. Stepmoms, reach out to your stepkids' mother. Buy her a gift. Tell her you appreciate her children.

7. Don't fight with ex-spouses about how much time you will

spend with children over the holidays. It only hurts the children

8. Invite your ex-spouses over for a holiday party. Brace for surprises.

9. Join a stepparent support group to share the many feelings about "family" that come up during the holiday season.

Lisa Cohn is co-author of "One Family, Two Family, New Family: Stories And Advice For Stepfamilies," a 2004 Gold National Parenting Publications Award winner. For more information, visit http://www.stepfamilyadvice.com. Email her at cohnmerk@comcast.net

Latest News


ABC News

Early Sales May Not Mean Strong Holidays, Group Says (Update1)
Bloomberg - Dec 1, 2008
1 (Bloomberg) -- A post-Thanksgiving bump may not be enough to rescue what might be the worst holiday season for US retailers in six years. ...
Holidays still a boon for Alaska retailers Fairbanks Daily News-Miner
Black Friday Results: Holidays off to a Good Start Marketnews.ca
Shoppers Search Out Black Friday Deals KLAS-TV
Las Cruces Sun-News - Youngstown Vindicator
all 1,144 news articles

Animoto brings the holidays to video
CNET News, CA - 6 hours ago
According to the company, the new holiday feature will use a snowscape to set the scene for the greeting and with the help of its new text feature, ...
Animoto Announces Animoto Holiday Greetings; Video Creation Site ... MarketWatch
all 9 news articles

Extra Cash for the Holidays or Anytime With the Launch of Diamonds ...
MarketWatch - 8 hours ago
Extra cash just in time for the holidays or anytime has never been so easy, with the online system put in place by the subsidiary of Gold & Diamond Source ...

ReliaTech Rings in Holidays With Deals for Its Bay Area Customers
MarketWatch - 7 hours ago
This holiday season marks the accomplishment of several goals at ReliaTech. "We are especially gratified to have had such a successful year, as ReliaTech's ...

Computerworld

E-tailers expect 8% bump for holidays
Atlanta Journal Constitution,  USA - Dec 1, 2008
By Bob Keefe If there’s any good news for retailers this holiday season, it may be online. While retailers brace for declines in sales at traditional ...
Video: Online Retailers See Monday As Black Friday AssociatedPress
More 'holidays' happen once Thanksgiving has passed Nashua Telegraph
Online spending forecasted to be flat through Holidays Global Surf News
Consumer reports - Napa Valley Register
all 1,560 news articles

BBC News

Holiday firms prepare for package tour slump by slashing summer ...
guardian.co.uk, UK - 41 minutes ago
Chief executive Manny Fontenla-Novoa said deep industry-wide cuts in the number of holidays offered in Britain, combined with the collapse into ...
Thomas Cook confident consumers will still go on holiday Telegraph.co.uk
Travel Firm Hot Prospects Sky News
Thomas Cook reports profits rise The Press Association
The Associated Press
all 138 news articles

Just in time for holidays, top chefs release tomes
San Francisco Chronicle,  USA - 2 hours ago
With people returning to the kitchen to save money, these recipe and reference books make ideal gifts for the holiday season. ...

Hero Astronauts Offer Out-Of-This-World Club for the Holidays
MarketWatch - 4 hours ago
Unlike other 'flavor-of-the-month' services, the Astronaut Autograph Club makes for the perfect gift that will be long-treasured after the holidays and for ...

Cellular South Welcomes HTC Touch Diamond in Time for the Holidays
MarketWatch - 3 hours ago
RIDGELAND, Miss., Dec 02, 2008 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- Cellular South, a leader in wireless solutions and innovation, today announced the availability of ...

AMA Phoenix Invites Valley Residents to Celebrate the Holidays at ...
MarketWatch - 4 hours ago
-- Good music -- Piping hot hors d'oeuvres -- Fine wine from around the globe. There will be a wine-tasting of three- to-four specially selected varieties. ...

Resources