Wanted: Treadmill for an Elephant

Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention, and a treadmill. She weighs 9,100 pounds and does not get enough exercise, especially during the long Alaskan winter months.

Alaska Zoo officials debated this past year about whether to keep Maggie. She has been the only elephant in the zoo since 1997 when her companion of 14 years, Annabelle, died. Some experts believe that in order to be healthy and happy a zoo elephant should be part of a small herd of 3 or more.

The Zoo's elephant committee decided that the risks of moving Maggie out of state and of totally changing her life were too great. Besides, she seems happy here and she has a familiar "herd" in Alaska already. Numerous Zoo officials, animal handlers and exercisers, and familiar frequent visitors spend many hours a day with her.

In order to increase Maggie's comfort and health, zoo officials decided to give Maggie's living quarters softer flooring and better ventilation. Zoo staff will also increase the number of hours that they spend with Maggie from 8 hours daily to 12 to 16 hours daily.

Finally, the Zoo will help Maggie get more year-round exercise and lose weight. They will purchase an elephant-sized treadmill. However, nobody has ever designed or built an elephant treadmill. Designs are being developed now, but if you have any good ideas bring them forward.

Then stand in line behind me to watch Maggie work out on her new treadmill.

Can you imagine the elephant-sized headphones and iPod that she'll need?

*****************************

Garry Gamber is a public school teacher and entrepreneur. He writes articles about real estate, health and nutrition, and internet dating services. He is the owner of http://www.Anchorage-Homes.com and http://www.TheDatingAdvisor.com.

Latest News


EFA to analyze cultural humor
Hollywood Reporter, United States - Nov 19, 2008
One panel plans to look at Nordic humor and Latin laughs with filmmakers from each region trying to discover just how poles apart they are when it comes to ...

MormonTimes.com: BYU religious instructor balances humor, doctrine
Deseret News, UT - 7 hours ago
By Aaron Shill PROVO — John Hilton III is grateful for the editors at Deseret Book who help him affix clever wording to his published works. ...

Humor gets intimate with the 14th Grade Players
The George Washington University The GW Hatchet, DC - 1 hour ago
Similar to the 1997 film, which depicts a presidential administration that constructs a fake war with Albania to cover up a sex scandal, the humor in ...

Archival footage: Barack Obama has a sense of humor! About Rahm ...
Los Angeles Times, CA - Nov 17, 2008
Rahm Emanuel, the newly-named White House chief of staff for president-elect Barack Obama, is known from Chicago's Loop to Washington's K Street as a ...

Commentary: Racial humor may never be the same -- we hope
CNN - Nov 18, 2008
Obama's election represents a challenge to comedians who deal in racial humor. With a confident, eloquent black man in the White House, ...

PerezHilton.com

Adrien Brody Has No Sense Of Humor
PerezHilton.com, CA - 14 hours ago
Despite various awards shows hijinks (a la unexpectedly and quite passionately kissing Halle Barry), Adrien Brody does not have a sense of humor, it seems. ...

The Jewish Journal of greater L.A

First female Israel ambassador to UN shows humor, optimism
The Jewish Journal of greater L.A, CA - 1 hour ago
14, under the auspices of the university's Israel Studies Program, Shalev lightened her professorial demeanor with flashes of humor and a strong feminist ...

Humor and happiness in a temporary home
Indiana Daily Student - 9 hours ago
Even in the early morning, their senses of humor endure as they take turns cracking jokes. The occasional interruptions in conversation are met with ...

88-Keys offers humor, reality on CD
Asbury Park Press, NJ - 17 hours ago
By MESFIN FEKADU • AP Writer • November 19, 2008 Rapper and producer 88-Keys brings many things to life with his debut CD, "The Death of Adam. ...

Humor book to donate some proceeds to cancer camp
Cherry Hill Courier Post, NJ - 1 hour ago
After amusing six million folks on his basketball show, the Cleveland entertainer now hopes to turn some of the hardest smiles by selling one million copies ...

Resources