Keeping Faith
Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 30, 2003
Please bear with me. I desperately need advice. I dated this girl for a year, and we broke up many times because of religion. We are of two different religions, and she wanted our potential children to be of her faith and only her faith.
To me that seemed a bit unfair. I too want to share in my children's spirituality, and I too want to take them to my church and experience a bit of what I had while growing up. She did not like this idea. She said it would be okay if I took them to my church, but the children could not pray with me or to "my" God.
I tried to explain to her that we are all one and all God's children. I said our children would benefit from what the two religions have to offer. In addition, since we care so deeply for each other, we should respect each other's beliefs.
We never reached an agreement, and three months ago we broke up for good. Last week she invited me to dinner. She told me she dated someone for a month, but it didn't work. I was hurt because the thought of me dating another makes me sick.
One thing led to another, and we were intimate. When we parted she said she will always love me and for me to e-mail when I become engaged so she won't have to wonder "what if." She also said one day she may change her mind and agree with my views about children.
I don't know what to do. Oh, one more thing, prior to dating me she had a four month relationship with a married man twice her age.
Sig
Sig, a person who suggests she feels so strongly about her religious faith needs to date within that faith. But that only partly describes your situation.
Your former girlfriend seems to be inventing the rules as she goes along. Her behavior does not reflect a life lived within religious teachings. It is as if she is trying to add piety to herself by speaking of her religious fervor for children who don't yet exist.
She is also giving you hope for the future in case she cannot find someone else, and because you have been intimate with her, you feel possessive about her. That is why the thought of dating another makes you sick. You also feel fear about the uncertainties of dating again.
Don't let your desire for a relationship blind you to what is happening. Letting her come back to you because she cannot find someone else is in her interest, not yours. She does you a disservice in saying she loves you, because what you are describing is a woman who likes you up to the point where you are not of her religion.
Wayne & Tamara
Too Late
My friend Missy is getting married this Saturday. I am the maid of honor. Missy's fiance has expressed deep concern about their sex life. Basically he isn't getting any.
Missy's fiance has asked Missy's friends, including me, to talk to her about it. So far nothing seems to work. He has already said he will just have to suffer in that aspect of their relationship for the rest of his life. I know this is a personal issue, but is there anything I could do to help?
Tricia
Tricia, as a young man, Missy's fiance has no idea how long a lifetime can be. He will never have more leverage than he has now, but he is marrying with a marriage-ending problem.
There is no indication in your letter that Missy is saving herself for marriage. Rather she believes by marrying her he has accepted things as they are. Letters like yours make us want to scream with frustration. When will we receive his letter asking if he should cheat or divorce?
Wayne
About The Author
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Latest News
 The Express Times - LehighValleyLive.com | A look at the top 10 inspirational sports movies The Express Times - LehighValleyLive.com, PA - It's one of the top ten inspirational sports movies of all time. Not so long ago I came across something on the Beliefnet.com Web site about inspirational ... Singling out some inspirational sports movies, from 'Titans' and ... |
Who was the most inspirational leader featured in 2008? CNN International - By Mike Steere LONDON, England (CNN) -- Who do you feel has been the most inspirational leader featured on The Spirit Of in 2008? Who is your pick? ... |
Inspirational Christian author to sign book in Davenport Quad-Cities Online, IL - Author Linda Louise, of Kalona, Iowa, has been awarded the “Best Christian Woman’s Inspirational” in 2008 by ChristianStoryTeller.com for her book titled ... |
more inspirational sports movies The Express Times - LehighValleyLive.com, PA - Anyone who was ever told they were too short, too small, not smart enough, not pretty enough or not anything enough gets a chance at redemption in this ... |
New Inspirational Celebrity Talk-Show, "Before the Big Break ... MarketWatch - NEW YORK, Nov 18, 2008 (BUSINESS WIRE) -- Right now, if you go to www.BeforeTheBigBreak.com, you can watch an exclusive interview with the Hollywood ... |
Bravettes’ Barnes receives All-Kaw Valley League nod Bonner Springs Chieftain, USA - For the freshman team, Bobbi Allred was named the best defensive player, Erin Marx was the best offensive player, Emily Wilson earned the most inspirational ... BLHS’ Pierce among KVL’s best Hooks catches eyes of Kaw Valley League volleyball coaches Mystery awaits us in Kaw Valley League |
Above the Victim Mentality -- New Inspirational Memoir About the ... MarketWatch - ARLINGTON, Va., Nov 18, 2008 (GlobeNewswire via COMTEX) -- For determined and highly motivated individuals, life's obstacles are just challenges to be ... |
Conversations with Mrs. Claus Holiday Podcast Series Celebrates ... Emediawire (press release), WA - Melbourne, Australia (PRWEB) November 20, 2008 -- A new inspirational holiday series of uplifting and fun podcast shows is featured on 'Conversations with ... Financial teaching tool for kids: Santa |
Downtown Waco 'inspirational piece' to show at 3 pm council meeting Waco Tribune Herald, TX - “It’s an inspirational piece,” City Manager Larry Groth said of the video, which he thinks will be a useful recruiting tool for businesses and developers ... |
Sutherland joins concert honoring courage, spirit The Coloradoan, CO - ... music director Cynthia Katsarelis, who wanted the performers and the audience to experience inspirational music that was driven by inspirational ideas. ... Fort Collins Symphony presents 'Mozart and More' |
Resources
-
Fit Over 40 - Anti Aging - Life Extension - Senior Fitness - Masters Athletes - Longevity
Look younger and sexier, boost your metabolism, gain muscle, lose weight safely and naturally, and read over 50 incredible, inspiring real life success stories which prove that this will work for you too, regardless of how old or out of shape you are!
-
Screensaver Quotes - Inspiring Motivational Screensavers
Motivational Screensavers with Inspiring Quotes - Inspirational Screensavers with Beautiful Colors, Sunsets, and Rainbows :)
-
Ordinary Words Extraordinary Power, A Dictionary of Distinctions by Danish Ahmed
'Ordinary words ~ Extraordinary Power
-
Healthy Christms Book Offer
Discouraged about your weight? Uplifting and fun support for women. Recipes, tips, prayers, success stories, more. Darling Inspirational bracelets: 4 for $10.00.
-
Inspirational Kids Stories
Inspirational kids stories. Stories with a moral, so that your child can learn about the life
-
Inspirational Quotes and Short Motivational Stories
Inspirational Quotes and Short Motivational Stories for Everyday Living
-
Success Motivation Inspiration
Success Is Your Birthright Too! An Inspirational ebook and mp3 audio program that helps everyday people achieve the success they thought was reserved for everyone else. Motivational quotes, goal setting, dress for success, ebooks.