Find Your Investing Soulmate on the Jersey Turnpike
As a followup to a previous column, "Irreconcilable Differences," I received an e-mail from a reader asking how she could ensure, ahead of time, investment compatibility with a future spouse.
Unfortunately, like most issues in life, the direct approach does not work. Asking him, "Sweetie, how will you invest our 401(k) funds?" will only result in getting the answer he thinks you want. "Honey, whatever you think is best," will be the answer you will hear. The thought that different investment strategies could result in irreconcilable harm to your future relationship seems remote to him. But we know better. He will say whatever you want in order to move the conversation to supposedly more important questions like, "How many kids do you want, five or six?" Or, "What religion should we raise the kids in?" We all know, however, as index investors, that our Investment Gestalt (IG) is the key predictor of future happiness. Fortunately, I have developed a test that will increase the probability of matching your IG with that of a prospective partner.
This is the scenario: Your friend (and I would keep the relationship at a platonic stage until after this first test of compatibility) is driving and you approach a toll on the New Jersey Turnpike. It's 5:30 p.m. and traffic is backed up a quarter mile. Now watch carefully as your friend selects one of 10 lanes to approach the tollbooths. Does he scan the mass of opportunities and abruptly cut across eight lanes of traffic to get into the shortest lane? So far, so good, correct? No, don't jump to any conclusions yet. Wait and see his behavior as his lane stops dead. Does he pull out and squeeze into the fastest moving lane two rows to your left? Even worse, does this behavior continue for the next 10 minutes as he chases the best performing lane? Stay away from this person. Don't give him a kiss goodnight and don't take his calls in the future. His approach is strictly short-term. He chases short-term performance (and he is rude too).
Still confused? The most suitable mate, the one with a similar IG would have randomly selected a lane and not wavered. He realizes that the lane that moves the fastest cannot be determined ahead of time and that short-term performance has no statistical significance to the final outcome. Your Mr. Right would have selected a lane and stayed in it. He would have used the extra time to find your favorite CD and ask how your mom is feeling.
Stay close to this guy. (Please note: With the introduction of express toll booths the validity of the above test has been challenged.) My question to our readers: what are the habits, quirks of personality that help you identify a person with a similar IG? Please share your perspectives with us.
Is it the kind of car he drives? Or the kind of dog he walks? Or how neat he keeps his apartment? Is it important that he calls his mom each night? Or is it totally counterintuitive? Are Indy 500 or Formula One drivers more likely to be index investors, while librarians take very large positions in hedge funds?
Please e-mail me with your insights so that I can share them with our readers.
Hesh Reinfeld writes a syndicated business humor column. You can read additional examples of his columns on his website: http://www.heshreinfeld.com Or contact him at hesh1@comcast.net
Latest News
 guardian.co.uk | Microsoft's Ballmer to CES: keep investing in tech despite ... Scientific American - Las Vegas , NEV. -- In his first ever CES keynote, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer yesterday acknowledged the tough economic times, but urged companies not to ... Microsoft: the year ahead Microsoft releases Windows Server 2008 R2 beta Windows 7 beta available worldwide on Friday |
 The Money Times | The Best Investment Values in a Decade Motley Fool - These days, we're presented with what Ron Muhlenkamp a few months ago called "the best investment values we've seen in a decade." Obviously, the market has ... You Are About to Make a Bad Investment The Flight to Safety Could Burn You Wednesday's Biggest Stock Stars |
 Wealth Bulletin | How to avoid a Madoff fund San Francisco Chronicle, USA - Feeder-funds (hedge funds or funds that do all their investing through another fund) and funds-of- funds sold investment services to individuals, ... The Financial Services Industry’s Free Lunch Fund-of-Hedge Funds Lacked Technology to Avoid Madoff Losses D Bank declined offers to invest with Madoff |
 Dividend.com | Billionaire investor places next supermarket bet MarketWatch - Yucaipa's investment funds have been aggressive buyers of Whole Foods shares since Nov. 24, spending a net $98 million to amass the stake. ... Activist shareholder buys 7 percent stake in Whole Foods Billionaire investor Burkle bets on Whole Foods |
Thomas, McNerney & Partners Promotes Three Members of Its ... PR Newswire (press release), NY - Thomas, McNerney & Partners is a health care venture capital firm with approximately $600 million under management, focused on investing in life science and ... |
US investment in IT would create jobs, group says ITworld.com, MA - by Grant Gross A US$30 billion investment by the US government in broadband, health IT and smart energy grids would create or retain nearly a million jobs, ... New ITIF Report Documents How $30 Billion IT Stimulus Package ... $30B IT Stimulus Will Create Almost 1 Million Jobs |
Invesco Fund Loss Stirs Investor Fears Wall Street Journal - By DIYA GULLAPALLI 'Stable-value" investment funds have been one of the last havens in employee-retirement accounts. But one, advised by money manager ... |
Appleseed Fund Ranked by Lipper as Top Performing Midcap Value ... CNNMoney.com - "Since the Appleseed Fund's inception, we've shown it's possible to outperform the market by investing in companies with strong sustainability records and ... |
New T. Rowe Price mutual fund eyes global investment Bizjournals.com, NC - T. Rowe Price Group Inc. is launching a new mutual fund seeking reward amid the risks of global fixed-income investing. The Strategic Income Fund will ... |
 Telegraph.co.uk | Learning from Madoff's Ponzi scheme WKOW-TV.com, WI - Another important lesson from the Madoff Ponzi scandal is that investing money successfully also requires some homework on your part. "If you're investing ... Video: Congress Sounds Off Against SEC in Madoff Affair Congress Demands SEC Speed Madoff Inquiry to Improve Oversight Re-defining Risk: 5 Investment Rules for 2009 |
Resources
-
No Money Down - Creative Real Estate Investing!
Learn how to control real estate Without credit checks and no money down! You can Buy With No Credit!
-
real estate foreclosures- home69
Proven real estate Investing course specializing in foreclosures and pre-forclosures.
-
Real Estate Investing
How To Start And Run Your Own outrageously Profitable Fixer-Upper Business In As Little As 45 Days, even If You Can
-
Foreclosures - Real Estate Investing - Short Sales.
Learn about foreclosures and real estate Investing techniques like short sales and subject to financing
-
Online Trading for Financial Freedom - stock daytrading strategy.
Stock index trading strategy for beginning and experienced traders alike.
-
Real Estate Investing - Foreclosures
How To Start And Run Your Own outrageously Profitable Fixer-Upper Business In As Little As 45 Days, even If You Can
-
Real Estate Investing Course for Profits in Investing
Real estate Investing course reveals proven real estate Investing strategies using Lease Options and Creative Financing where you can earn big money Investing in real estate with no down and no credit
-
Make money stock trading, day trading, Investing and trading options like the pros!
Turn $200 into $4,630 in 30 days by trading options online from your home PC. Step by step instructions for novices or investment pros. Make money stock trading, day trading, Investing and trading options like the pros!
-
Make real money Investing in real estate by Lou Vukas
Lou Vukas gives you the insider secrets to making real money in real estate regardless of your credit, finances or location at realestatefortunes.com.
-
Real Estate Investing
eBook on Real Estate Investing and Real Estate Marketing