English Has Come A Long, Long Way...
I often wonder what would happen if Shakespeare were to be transported in a time machine to our world today. What would he think? How would he react?
Yes, Willie would probably tell me "thou hast too much time on thy hands if thou spendeth it wondering about such flights of fancy." But only after he found his feet.
You see, Willie would be blown away by some of the comforts we take for granted. For instance, that box we walk into. The doors close all by themselves...just like magic. When they open, we are magically in a different place.
"What callest thou this contraption?" Willie would ask in utter amazement.
An elevator. You would think nothing would phase a man who just landed his time machine 400 years into the future.
"Ah, I see. It was not magic after all. It elevated us, because it is an elevator."
This Willie guy is pretty handy with his English, isn't he? But that won't get him far these days. A hundred years ago, even fifty, he could have figured out just about every new word by tracing its roots (often to Greek or Latin). But not today.
"What are those...those...those, things?"
Why that's a TV, with a VCR and a DVD player. Over there, it's a CD player, an AM and FM radio and an amp. This is a PC, with CDRW and floppy drives, a powerful CPU, A and C drive, and more RAM than a MAC.
"What? Thy alphabet seems a bit confusing."
Once upon a time, the meaning of a word could always be guessed by simply tracing the entomology of the word back to its lowest roots.
"Thou meanest 'etymology', dost thou not? Entomology is the study of insects and bugs."
I knew that.
I took out a 'Kleenex' because my nose was running.
"But how dost thy nose run?"
I suppose the same way I drivest on a parkway and parkest in the driveway. Or how it doesn't matter whether we fill in a form or fill out a form...either way, the taxman gets the last laugh.
I offered to take Willie for a ride.
"That is more like it. There is nothing quite like a horse under one's bottom.'
No, no, no. We don't ride horses anymore. That is a barbaric way to treat such majestic beasts. Now we drive cars...and kill the horses off with the exhaust.
"I have no idea what you are talking about."
Just have a seat in the BMW, Willie, while I turn on the AC and rev up the RPMs on this old V6. Before you know it, we'll be doing 100 mph down the 102.
"More letters and numbers. Have words become redundant in the future?"
Pretty much. As life got more and more complicated, words got more and more complicated. Pretty soon it was taking several minutes just to pronounce a single government department. So real word groups had to be replaced by acronyms - the first letter of each word. Pass me a CANDY.
"What does CANDY stand for?"
Candy, actually. But maybe I should just leave old Willie guessing. After all, there is just so much to discover in this brave new world. Like why there are so few sundials around. And why some people sleep on the street, while other climb 34 stories to an office tower above to sleep at their desks. And just how do they shrink those liquor bottles for the airlines.
"What is an RSVP? And ASAP? And TLC?"
I had to find just the right way to explain to him that all these crazy letters actually made some kind of sense.
Internal Department of Income Overhaul Transfer Systems.
"Ah, IDIOTS. Now, that I understand!"
About The Author
Like Shakespeare, David Leonhardt is a writer: He is author of:
Inspiration & Motivation To Go: http://www.thehappyguy.com/l/daily-motivation-inspiration.html
The Get Happy Workbook: http://www.thehappyguy.com/happiness-work-book.html
and Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness: http://www.thehappyguy.com/happiness-self-help-book.html
To write your website copy, newsletter or anything else, email him at: info@thehappyguy.com
Latest News
AFP | LPGA bites tongue over English language plan AFP - The LPGA will continue a program started in 2005 to provide all LPGA players with language training, tutors, translators and language learning schemes. ... LPGA softens stance on language policy LPGA backs off of language policy GORDON WHITE: Foreign Concept: Language Rule A Bad Idea |
![]() The Money Times | California lawmaker questions LPGA language policy The Associated Press - (AP) — A California state senator said Thursday that he's seeking a legal opinion to determine whether the LPGA Tour's language requirement for players ... LPGA's new rule bad in any language State Farm Upset Over LPGA Language Rule Bridging Language Gap Takes Steps From Both Sides |
![]() Los Angeles Times | LPGA's English language rule challenged Newsday, NY - A California state senator is seeking a legal opinion to determine whether the LPGA Tour's language requirement violates state or federal law. Sen. ... Most Popular Stories |
![]() Currents | UCSC Linguistics professor receives grant to help preserve ... Currents, CA - Chamorro is an Austronesian language spoken by 45000 people in the unincorporated US territory of Guam and in the US Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana ... |
The resurrection of a language long lost The Age, Australia - The world's languages are dying at a rate of one a fortnight, but an Aboriginal tongue has been brought back to life. MUCH has been written about the need ... |
Tax cut group protests ballot language In-Forum, ND - Jaeger said he consulted with Attorney General Wayne Stenehjem on the final ballot language. The ballot will say that the measure lowers “the state ... |
![]() PR Web (press release) | Google amends Chrome licence agreement after objections The Times, South Africa - "We are working quickly to remove language from Section 11 of the current Google Chrome terms of service. This change will apply retroactively to all users ... Video: Tech Test: Google Chrome Lacks Polish Sizing up Google's new browser Google touts iPhone, Chrome browser |
![]() China Daily | Hurdling language barriers China Daily, China - "Ten years ago, it was just called the Chinese International College for Language Study and we mostly had Japanese and South Koreans," says Zhao. ... |
The language wars Indian Express, India - Supreme Court Justice Markandey Katju has passionately lamented the criminal neglect of Urdu and Sanskrit languages. Urdu has seen a steady decline from its ... |
![]() Nashville City Paper | English Only supporters push on despite setbacks Nashville City Paper, TN - “I’m just tired of all these Mexicans taking over everything and not speaking our language,” said Lorene Graves, who was one of the signers of the first ... Businesses use Spanish to cater to patrons, staff Judge Rules Against Putting English-First On Ballot English initiative in Nashville loses court ruling |
Resources
-
Learn a new foreign Language easily - Spanish, French, German, Japanese, Chinese, Russian
Language Passion - Easily learn a new foreign Language online today. Learn Spanish, Japanese, German, Chinese, French, Russian or any other foreign Language you choose. Learn any Language today and speak with a foreign tongue in a matter of months.
-
CMATHER.COM Premium Classified Network
CMATHER.COM Classified Advertising - Premium Advertising
-
One Hour HTML - Learn the Language of the Web...fast!
Learn HTML fast with One Hour HTML
-
Sign Language for Babies and Beyond
Learn How to Communicate With Your Baby Before Your Baby Can Speak Using American Sign Language! Includes Video of 250 Signs!
-
How to Hypnotically Influence Other People
a course by Wang Jian to teach you how to write hypnotic Language to make others obey your command.
-
Travellingwords.com - Your mp3 Language crash course for your vacation
Travellingwords.com - Your mp3 Language crash course for your vacation. Going abroad tomorrow? Download your Language course today. international, travel, travel, Language, holiday, travlang, foreign destination, communication, vacation, course, mp3, shor
-
Dating Advice for Men - How to Approach Women, Attract Women, and Meet Girls
How to Approach Women, Talk to Women and Attract Women. Dating Advice for Men and How to Meet Girls. Learn How to Read Body Language, Dating Tips, How to Get a Girlfriend.
-
Business English Language Multimedia Grammar Practice
ESL quizzes and EFL exercises covering grammar, vocabulary, multi-word verbs
-
ThaiVoc - Learn Thai Now!
Learn the Thai Language with IPA and AUA phonetic Windows software.
-
English Romanian Dictionary Online - Dictionar Englez Roman
Learn Romanian Language: Romanian English Dictionary online and download, conversation guide. Information about Romania: travel, culture, and more.





