Develop a We Focus And Not a Me Focus
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"There's only one thing more contagious than a good attitude - and that's a bad attitude?Most bad attitudes are the result of selfishness." -John Maxwell - The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork
"A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle." - Benjamin Franklin
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Great leaders know how to focus on the team ahead of themselves. They do this by developing a "We" focus.
Consider an exercise I often run with seminar participants. I call it the Best/Worst Supervisor exercise.
I'm going to ask you to reflect on two specific supervisor-employee relationships you have experienced from the employee side. As you read the rest of this article, stop for a moment and carefully think about these relationships with your supervisors - either past or present.
Relationship Number 1:
Think about the person you worked for that you would be willing to help anytime. Someone who you would willingly come in early, stay late, or work through lunch for just because they asked. The key phrase is, "just because they asked." The person we are considering got extra effort from you because of who they were and not from the position of authority they held over you.
You might write down the answers to the following questions as you reflect on this experience:
- What specifically did they do?
- How did they behave towards you and others to create this feeling in you?
- How much fear did you feel associated with working for them?
- Did you feel controlled or influenced by them? In other words, did they have an indirect effect on your behavior, or did they directly regulate your behavior?
My personal experience, verified by discussions with thousands of business people across the country, is that most people report a positive, influence type relationship with this person.
We'll call this person the Best Supervisor.
Relationship Number 2:
Now, think about a supervisor you hated to do anything for. The supervisor who kept checking your progress, criticizing your work, and threatening to punish you in some way if you didn't perform to standard.
Now, reconsider these questions with regard to this person.
- What specifically did they do?
- How did they behave towards you and others to create this feeling in you?
- How much fear did you feel associated with working for them?
- Did you feel controlled or influenced by them? In other words, did they have an indirect effect on your behavior, or did they directly regulate your behavior?
We'll call this person the Worst Supervisor.
Most people say that the Best Supervisor got more voluntary effort and better long-term performance and relationship results from their team. I have yet to meet the person who says the Worst Supervisor got great performance from their team.
Now consider this question for a moment: Who do you think these two people thought/think about first? Most people say that the Best Supervisor tends to keep their focus on others. Most people also say that the Worst Supervisor tends to think only of themselves and their interests.
The question for leaders becomes - How do I want the people on my team to view me?
The answer lies in how we, the leaders, think.
Our thoughts become words or actions that influence the behavior of the people around us. When I focus on my personal desires, I act in selfish ways. When I act in selfish ways, I inspire mediocre performance in my team. When I focus on the team, I act in the team's best interest. When I act in the team's best interest, I inspire high-level performance in my team.
As I close this article, my mind is racing with possible questions and qualifying statements. Due to space and time constraints, I haven't even begun to address some of the issues that come to mind:
- How does this apply to team members who don't want to play nice?
- How do you preserve the integrity of your vision while working with people who see things differently? etc.
These issues are too big to consider all at once. I'll address these related issues at a different time.
So for now, I encourage you to remember this one tip . . .
Develop a "we" focus and not a "me" focus.
Copyright 2005, Guy Harris
You may use this article for electronic distribution if you will include all contact information with live links back to the author. Notification of use is not required, but I would appreciate it. Please contact the author prior to use in printed media.
About the Author:
Guy Harris is the Chief Relationship Officer with Principle Driven Consulting. He helps entrepreneurs, business managers, and other organizational leaders build trust, reduce conflict, and improve team performance. Learn more at http://www.principledriven.com
Guy co-authored "The Behavior Bucks System TM" to help parents reduce stress and conflict with their children. Learn more about this book at http://www.behaviorbucks.com
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