The Reality of Arranged Marriages
Arranged marriages have been a topic of interest for centuries. Authors across the ages have explored this theme at length, and it still surfaces in literary works today. What's the appeal? Is it the fascination with the lack of lust and desire we cultivate in North American society? We strive on the element of danger, of the forbidden, while an arranged marriage is usually a safe way to ensure a family's approval of a union.
And yet, many of today's romance novels deal with marriages of convenience. We've all read them: the heroine marries the hero because she needs him, whether for financial reasons, or because her children need a father -- there are as many reasons to marry as there are novels dealing with this subject. Yet although the marriage isn't initially based on love, there's always that sensual tension simmering beneath the surface, and as readers, we know it's inevitable that the two are going to fall deeply and irrevocably in love.
But what about real life, where things don't always work out so well? Arranged marriages are commonplace in a number of countries, such as Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Japan and India. They're more common than you'd think even in North America, where cultural diversity is cherished and encouraged.
Young people in countries where arranged marriages are commonplace are told from an early age that their spouse will be chosen for them. To deny an arranged marriage is seen as a sign of disrespect toward the family. But how are suitable spouses chosen? In Japan, for instance, "when a woman reaches the marriageable age of 25, she and her parents compile a packet of information about her, including a photograph of her in a kimono and descriptions of her family background, education, hobbies, accomplishments and interests. Her parents then inquire among their friends and acquaintances to see if anyone knows a man who would be a suitable husband for her" (the Asia Society's Video Letter from Japan: My Family, 1988). Usually, the most important aspect of choosing a suitable spouse is the bond between the two families, rather than the relationship between the couple being married. Property or land with the aim of securing social status sometimes seals marriage agreements.
Do arranged marriages work? Opinions tend to differ. Statistics place the divorce rate for arranged marriages much lower than those in the United States, where marriages out of love are the rule. However, research also shows that the pressure a married couple encounters from both society as a whole, and from the respective families, suggests that divorce is often not an option.
Can love grow out of an arranged marriage? Absolutely, and in the same way that love can grow in romance novels from a marriage of convenience. But there's more to love than finding a suitable match. Love can grow for many reasons, from lust at first sight to friendship that develops over a long period of time. It's impossible to predict whether a union will be successful. The only two people who can make it work are the bride and groom, the hero and heroine of their own story.
Lacey Savage is the author of a number of sensual romance short stories, novels and novellas. Her articles and works of fiction often focus on women's issues and relationships. Find out more about Lacey at http://www.laceysavage.com
Latest News
 Hour.ca | An ugly attack on Mormons Los Angeles Times, CA - The Mormon zealots yank the couple's wedding rings from their fingers and then tear up their marriage license. As the thugs leave, one says to the other, ... Sam Loomis '10: Common ground Proposition 8: Separating the fiction from fact |
 Chicago Sun-Times | Melody LaLuz Fabien and Claudaniel Fabien wait until marriage to kiss Chicago Sun-Times, United States - ... marriage -- but went a little further by agreeing not to kiss each other on the lips before their union was official. The couple's wedding was yesterday ... Abstinence Instructors Hold Out Until Marriage for First Kiss Chicago couple wait for first kiss at the altar A Lesson From a 28-Year-Old Virgin Couple abstains from sex and ... |
 The Age | Ivana Divorce! Trump Splits From Hubby After 7-Month Marriage FOXNews - Ivana Trump's sons walked her down the aisle, and her daughter Ivanka was her maid of honor for their April 2008 wedding held, to keep the family even more ... Ivana Trump splits from husband No.4, just seven months after ... Divorce: Ivana Trump 7 month marriage is over Ivana Trump Leaves Husband No. 4 |
Florida governor's bride-to-be chooses her gown for Dec. 12 wedding Sun-Sentinel.com, FL - Hung's salon is also altering cream-colored, floor-length dresses purchased elsewhere for Rome's two preteen daughters from a previous marriage, ... Gays to Demonstrate at Fla. Gov. Crist’s Marriage Gay rights group to protest at Crist's wedding Sunday links: A protest of the Crist-Rome nuptials? |
Ayesha's marriage postponed after terror attack Oneindia, India - Ayesha Takia's wedding to beau, restaurateur Farhan Azmi, delayed. Wedding to take place mid-2009 In the wake of the 26/11 terrorist attacks, Ayesha Takia's ... Ayesha Takia postpones wedding |
Certified Vacations Group, Inc. & CaribbeanWeddings.Com Announce ... MarketWatch - Certified's 28-year track record of excellence in developing packaged leisure travel, combined with our wedding expertise makes a perfect marriage. ... |
Group Plans To Protest Crist's Wedding CBS 4, FL - ... Impact Florida says the group plans to demonstrate outside Crist's wedding because he supported Amendment 2, which banned same-sex marriage in Florida. ... Gay Rights Group To Protest At Crist's Wedding Gay rights group to protest at Crist's wedding Gay Rights Protest Set For Nuptials |
This Season, Some Tempers Simmer Wall Street Journal - Now a trip to a cousin's Florida wedding in February is in jeopardy because of finances. Missing the wedding and Christmas "could become a source of ... |
 Auburn Citizen | Montag, Pratt wedding symbolic, not yet legal Auburn Citizen, NY - The story doesn't note that they had neither obtained a marriage license nor taken part in a separate civil ceremony, which is required by Mexican law to ... Something Fishy About Spencer - Heidi Wedding |
Why Ruin Their Wedding Day? ireport - Gay Activists have announced that they will be outside of the church to protest the Governor's support of the amendment banning Gay marriage. ... |
Resources
-
Wedding Vows, Marriage Vows
Proven Wedding and Marriage vows.
-
Free Personals with photos - International Marriage site
matrimonials with pictures. Post your matrimonial for free and browse though photo personals to find your mate, bride, groom. Matrimonial service for people looking for love, romance and Marriage.