Whine Oh Whine Am I The Only One?

I thought I was the only one in the world with a whiny 5-year-old. All the other 5-year-olds that I know of are either well-behaved or are total monsters! My elder child is a cross between the two - most times he's well-behaved and sometimes a total monster. And when he's a monster, mommy turns into an uglier one (blushing in embarrassment).

I don't want this to sound like a "Dear Thelma" article with me doing my whining online and venting it angrily out at readers, about how unfair this world is and how horrid my child is whenever he whines?when in actual fact, I think the problem lies with me. I have a problem with giving him the attention he needs, therefore, he resorts to whining to get my attention.

Does my younger son whine? Not as often as my elder child. My younger son is wiser, he uses a more effective method to get my attention. He would yank my sleeve or part of my clothing up (or any other embarrassing parts of my clothing that reveals undesirable parts of my body) and place hot and wet kisses there! Boy oh boy, you have to give it to the boy for knowing how to get my attention.

Anyway, let me get back to the topic here?.whining.

THE VERY BASICS ABOUT WHY TODDLERS AND PRESCHOOLERS WHINE ::

From a very young age, kids need their parents and rely on adults for everything. And to get those things, he has to learn how to get the adults' attention. As babies, they cry. As toddlers, they cry and kick around. As preschoolers, they whine and complain.

The reason why children and kids whine and put up a fuss is because they want something from you and they feel powerless in obtaining it. If they know how to get your attention, like my younger son, they won't whine. It's only when their calls for help are not answered or if they are not getting their way that their calls rise in pitch, resulting in a whine.

Children whine because they are looking for a response and it could be good response or bad response. They want your attention and if bad attention is the only kind of attention that they capable of getting, they'll take it and figure out how to turn it around after that.

HOW TO DEFINE WHINING TO YOUR WHINING PRESCHOOLER ::

Instead of pointing a finger in their faces (which I have the tendency to do, as well, when I am stressed), try pinpointing their whining. The moment they start whining about something, state very firmly, "You're whining and I can't hear you when you do that. Can you please talk in your normal voice now?" If your preschooler doesn't understand what you're saying, repeat the word 'whining' and then imitate him whining. You'll either end up with a wiser child or you'll both end up rolling on the ground with earth-shaking laughter. Either way, it's good news.

HAVE YOU NOTICED WHEN IT IS THAT YOUR CHILD IS MOST LIKELY TO WHINE? ::

Take a wild guess?..yes, when you're in the middle of something important, trying to concentrate on a game or a television program! It's when you're most occupied with your own things or not focused on them.

RESPOND TO YOUR CHILD AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE OR POSITIVELY REDIRECT THEM. ::

The worst thing you can do to a child is to snap at them when they're asking something from you nicely. That's like saying, "Not now. Try whining. I might get angry about it and answer you". Instead, respond to them immediately, as you would any other adults. If you're in the middle of something important, you can always explain to your child as patiently and kindly as you can that you are doing something important. Explain to them that you won't ignore them but if they can wait, they should. Most preschoolers can understand this type of instruction - they can understand more than we give them credit for.

DON'T JUST SAY 'LATER' TO A WHINING CHILD ::

Later could mean 5 minutes, it could mean 1 hour, gee whiz, it could mean TOMORROW! Give your preschooler a ballpark figure and a realistic length of time that they should expect the wait to be. Once you're done with whatever that is that you're doing, keep your promise.

If he waits it out, offer encouragement, offer congrats, shower praises on him and make him feel like the President of the WORLD for waiting it out so long.

Marsha Maung is a freelance graphic designer and writer who has been working from her home in Selangor, Malaysia the past 6 years. She is the author of "Raising Little Magicians", "No Products to Sell", "The Lance in Freelancing" and other popular books. For more information, please visit http://www.marshamaung.com and for her books, visit http://www.lulu.com/marshamaung

Latest News

is there any correlation between bad parenting... AllHipHop - 2 hours ago is it essential for a parent to teach you a thing or two about men or women when it comes to crafting your relationship{mackin} skills and is it possible ... YOU'RE/THAT'S SO GHETTO AllHipHop all 3 news articles

The Intersect Between Reporting and Parenting Tecumseh Herald, MI - 6 hours ago Sometimes, though, circumstances make it so that all I can do is be the parent. Take last night's band concert in Britton. Just take yesterday in general, ...

Chief Parenting Extends C-Level Parental Suite to Include Chief ... PR Web (press release), WA - 14 hours ago Empowering men and women to become exemplary parents, recognizing those that do and honoring them with their earned executive level parenting titles, ...

Spencer Bachus Approves of Nanny State, Opposes Parenting Casino Gambling Web, FL - 2 hours ago Long time supporter of legalization and regulation of all forms of online gambling, Gordon Price, said, "Instead of teaching parents how to filter the ...

Examiner.com

Parenting Tip of the Day: Lay off the sarcasm Examiner.com - 8 hours ago by Terreece Clarke, Parenting Examiner I'm a sarcastic human being. I'm like Ralphie's dad from A Christmas Story, he dabbled in obsenities, ...

TheTimes

Make holidays brighter for children of incarcerated parents, she says TheTimes, OR - 23 hours ago By Kristen Forbes A Parenting Inside Out class graduate poses with her son. She and her two children will be gift recipients at the Center for Family ...

Free parenting workshop today at Second Bethlehem Baptist Church ... Alexandria Town Talk, LA - 6 hours ago A free parenting workshop will be held today, Dec. 4, at 6 pm at Second Bethlehem Baptist Church located at 1910 Harris Street Alexandria. ...

The Plain Dealer - cleveland.com

The Family Tree Baltimore Sun, United States - 14 hours ago Volunteers older than 21 are needed as parent educators in North and South Counties to co-teach a Positive Parenting Course in 12-week intervals. ... Statistics about children in crisis The Plain Dealer - cleveland.com all 4 news articles

Media Mogul Tommy Mottola Finds New Star in EEBEE MarketWatch - Dec 3, 2008 We're confident that co-parenting this business with Tommy Mottola will bring us to the next level of success." "We are delighted to partner with EVERY BABY ...

Or Ami addresses parenting issues Agoura Hills Acorn, CA - 17 hours ago Congregation Or Ami's Center for Jewish Parenting is currently offering a series of lectures that cover a wide range of parenting issues. ...