Top 10 Things To Never Believe From Your Teenager
1) It's not my (pot, beer, cigarettes, etc.), I'm just keeping it for someone else.
Yeah right. The next question for the parent to ask is, "If you are keeping this for your friend, what is your friend keeping for you?" One of the reasons parents can get fooled here is that you so desperately want to believe that it is not theirs and they are not doing drugs. It's important to remember that this is something your teen might be counting on.
2) When caught with drugs - This is just the first time I've tried it.
Unlikely. Usually when kids get caught with and/or using some drugs, they have been doing it awhile. They have simply slipped up, gotten caught, and are trying to find a quick way out of it.
3) We don' have homework in that class
Sometimes this is true. Or they have already done it at school. Often times it's a good excuse for not doing homework, or for covering up for skipping class. Either way, it's one of the easiest to check out by talking with the teacher. Which parents need to be doing anyway.
4) The teacher doesn't like me
Maybe so. This is usually just a handy excuse for bad grades or getting in trouble. Either way, it's the kid's job to find a way to make it work, even if the teacher doesn't like them. It's simply practice for the real world, where not everyone is going to like you; sometimes even bosses or co-workers. The interesting thing about this one is the teens solution to the problem. It goes something like this - "Well, the teacher doesn't like me, so I'll show them by flunking the class." And who is this hurting?
5) Of course there will be parents at the party
The answer to this one is, "If that's true, then you certainly won't mind me calling up your friend's parents to see if there is anything I can do to help."
6) Everyone else gets to do it, so why can't I?
Another popular one designed to make parents feel guilty and old fashioned, so they will give in to something they think is wrong. My mother had a wonderfully confusing answer to this one; "If everyone else stood on their head in the middle of the street at three in the morning in their underwear, would you?" Probably would have.
7) Everyone drinks and smokes. There's not a single person my age who doesn't.
Many, many teenagers do. But not each and every one. I know of plenty who do not and have a very good time with what they do. Another one designed to get parents to tolerate behavior they don't like.
8) If you let me off just this once, I'll promise I'll never do it again.
Another one parents want so badly to believe. Unfortunately, what the teenager usually learns here is that the parent really doesn't mean it about consequences. While in some ways it might be easier to let them off the hook, it teaches very little about the real world.
9 & 10) Give me one good reason why I can't do that!
This one gets two places because it is so common and so important. The crucial part not to believe here is that they are really asking for a legitimate answer to the question. After giving a well reasoned adult answer, here is something you will not hear from your teenager, "Well, thank you for explaining it that way to me folks! And now that you have, not only do I no longer what to do that, I'm embarrassed and ashamed for asking. Please forgive me and good night." If your teen ever says this, call me quickly, something is really wrong!
Jeff Herring, MS, LMFT, is a marriage and family therapist specializing in working with teenagers and their parents. A nationally syndicated relationship columnist and speaker, Jeff is also the founder and CEO of http://www.ParentingYourTeenager.com, where you can subscribe to his f'ree internet newsletter "ParentingYourTeenager." E-mail Jeff at jeff@parentingyourteenager.com
Latest News
Getting Tough on Bullying Washington Post, United States - And as mounting research shows the negative effects on both the bully and the victim, mental-health professionals, schools, parents and even kids themselves ... |
 Examiner.com | (ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco parenting) Examiner.com - by Sherrill Fulghum, New York Music Examiner When artists record an album there is often more songs written and recorded than make it onto the album. ... |
 Examiner.com | (ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco parenting) Examiner.com - by Michelle Flannigan, DC Metro Area Parenting Examiner Last month, a mother abandoned a newborn girl in a garbage sack in Tacoma Park. ... |
 Examiner.com | (ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco parenting) Examiner.com - by Kathleen Milazzo, Chicago Special Needs Examiner We all know how great holiday leftovers can be, however these leftovers do not consist of food not eaten ... |
(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco parenting) Examiner.com - by Brian Trent, Independent Examiner While his mother screamed and begged for mercy, a 15-year-old Indian boy was beaten, his scalp shaved, ... |
Thousands to get lessons in parenting Stuff.co.nz, New Zealand - A Government scheme that sends parents of violent or misbehaving children to parenting courses is to expand to up to 15000 more families. ... |
Queer parenting: more than cute baby photos Lawrentian (subscription), WI - 13 four Lawrence University faculty members shared four unique versions of what it is like to be a queer parent in Appleton. While each tale differed in ... |
 Examiner.com | (ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco parenting) Examiner.com - by Sherrill Fulghum, New York Music Examiner In 2007 former Vice-President Al Gore launched a campaign for awareness of Global Warming. ... |
Child deaths test faith-healing exemption Chicago Tribune, United States - "We can't legislate good parenting, but at least we shouldn't have laws allowing bad parenting," said Swan, who now heads the advocacy group Children's ... |
Mark Wahlberg shares parenting advice Great Dad, California - Fatherhood can be a wild ride, whether you are an average dad or a high-profile star who is balancing parenting skills with the pressures of the celebrity ... |
Resources
-
Parents - The Greatest Parenting Secret in 50 Years!
Raising Kids With Life Skills makes both Parenting and growing up easier to do.
-
Parenting TOOLS to design the family of your dreams! What does your dream family look like?
Powerful tools for Parenting, anger management, and creative blocks!
-
Toddler Activities - Preschooler Activities - Children's Activities - Family Fun
Toddler activities to entertain and educate your toddler. 52 toddler activities and more! FREE newsletter with toddler activities, toddler play ideas and toddler crafts, relevant websites, Parenting quotes and more!
-
Many of our Ebooks are 100% FREE!
Download ebooks on website marketing, Parenting, ebook publishing and more.
-
Child behavior management without anger with this upbeat and effective Parenting tool.
An upbeat, fun Parenting tool for parents wishing to manage their behavior challenged kids.
-
More Fun Less Work Parenting Method - Increase Your Child's Emotional Intelligence
Fun Parenting method - teach your child emotional intelligence using curiosity and simple rules. Increase kid
-
Many of our Ebooks are 100% FREE!
Download ebooks on website marketing, Parenting, ebook publishing and more.
-
teach your baby how to read,early reading,Parenting advice,reading baby,toddler learning activity
You can teach your baby how to read. Reading early is possible.Your growing child learns through a cumulative process and targeted toddler learning activities. Crucial Parenting advice is key to unlocking your child
-
Practical Parenting Advice - children's behavior problems, child
behaviour problems, FREE parentin
Free Practical Parenting Advice - children
-
Divorce Parenting
Divorce resource for parents. Online seminar. Great tools for learning to help your family navigate the breakup process. Kids, Children, Parents, Family divorce tips and solutions. Powerful Strategies